So as we all came to realize, the Rapture didn't happen. This put my looting plans on ice, which is a bit depressing. I was hoping for that big TV I keep pining after in my neighbors' window. I know they would have been taken in the Alien Abduction....er Rapture because I always hear them yelling out to God in pleasure!
However since I don't have the opportunity to peruse my neighbors possessions, I knocked off a quick list to entertain myself (and hopefully you).
Things You'd Be Surprised to Find In Your Neighbor's Dresser
--Bus tickets to scenic Branson, Missouri
--A half used toothpaste tube
--A note from their mother with their name misspelled
--Speed 2 on Laserdisc
--Nazi silverware
--Your wife's missing engagement ring
--Atlantean gold
--Toenail clippings from their children from every year they've been alive
--The original negatives to the lost ending of "13 going on 30"
--A mysteriously stained Grand Dragon robe and cross
--Jimmy Hoffa
--Bathing ferrets
--The truth and nothing but the truth
And finally........
--MY VIRGINITY
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