A Thought Occurs (A Listful Post)

So as we all came to realize, the Rapture didn't happen. This put my looting plans on ice, which is a bit depressing. I was hoping for that big TV I keep pining after in my neighbors' window. I know they would have been taken in the Alien Abduction....er Rapture because I always hear them yelling out to God in pleasure!

However since I don't have the opportunity to peruse my neighbors possessions, I knocked off a quick list to entertain myself (and hopefully you).

Things You'd Be Surprised to Find In Your Neighbor's Dresser

--Bus tickets to scenic Branson, Missouri
--A half used toothpaste tube
--A note from their mother with their name misspelled
--Speed 2 on Laserdisc
--Nazi silverware
--Your wife's missing engagement ring
--Atlantean gold
--Toenail clippings from their children from every year they've been alive
--The original negatives to the lost ending of "13 going on 30"
--A mysteriously stained Grand Dragon robe and cross
--Jimmy Hoffa
--Bathing ferrets
--The truth and nothing but the truth

And finally........

--MY VIRGINITY

The Madness Begins

I awoke from a fever dream 10 minutes ago (I have them often as I induce fevers by straining my neck muscles until they overheat) and thought...."I have a cache of written comedy and no place to store it all. I should start that blog I keep hearing so much about."

Well here it is, warts and all. I hope that I can inspire some laughter, or at least pity chuckling (I'm looking at you K). Please feel free to comment on my work and give some feedback. Who knows, I might even listen!

So sit back, relax, and move those eyeballs. There is so much more to come.....Oh and take your shoes off at the door to my mind. It's messy enough in there.