In Pour Taste #2

Now I realize when I said weekly posting, I may have set the bar a little high. However if you will bear with me, we have a 2nd installment in our new feature:

In Pour Taste

I had planned to post on this new clear beverage I was introduced to the other weekend, but I feel that today's post would be better suited to something which advertises itself as a "Limited Edition" and "Available for a Short Time Only."

Again, the rules are as follows I will describe the sensory bouquet of the drink and then explain what it reminds me of.

Pour #2
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Look: When poured this liquid is almost oily. It has a deep indigo hue with a baby blue foam. The bubbles seem to hang in the liquid unable to escape, while the carbonation at the top takes on the consistency of cotton candy.

Reminds Me Of: The color of the mixing shampoos left behind on the floor of my shower in college. This was after my roommate and his girlfriend would "clean loudly" and knock all the bottles off the shelves.

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Nose: Blunt citrusy note with a hint of children's cough syrup. There is an acrid after-smell of rotting brain cells and broken promises.

Reminds Me Of: Being punched in the face by a bully who just finished a fruit roll-up.

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Mouth Feel: Subtle bubbles coat the tongue as the heavy full weight of the liquid coats the inside of the mouth. Also a large air pocket forms under the tongue to shield it from a chemical bath.


Reminds Me Of: Play time in the shower with my good friends Suave and Lefty.

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Tasting Notes: At first glance you are overpowered by a mix of grapefruit and generic citrus. The moment your mouth adjusts you are swarmed by an overpowering faux grape flavor like that in children's cough syrup.  The finish is extremely sour like having a grape sour patch kid stuck in your teeth. 

Reminds Me Of: Fever dreams mixed with sour grapes.

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Afterthoughts: While the prospect of a large sour grape stone of pain in your stomach sounds good on paper, in practice it is taxing. A mix of extreme energy and intense exhaustion ebbs and flows. After a few moments you cannot help but burp, reliving the wondrous flavors in every crevice of your esophagus. hhhhaaaannnndddddssss    gegegeeeettttiinnnnnnnngggggg  jjjjjjiittttttterry.............
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Reccomendation: Mountain Dew Pitch Black limited edition is not one to be missed. It is more complex than its anti-freeze colored cousin. Perfect compliment to any breakfast setting or late night snack. Also can be used in event of swallowing poison or activated charcoal. GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!

Enjoy Life! Gezondheid!

JvL

In Pour Taste #1

I bid you welcome to my new weekly segment where I review the latest and greatest beverages that I have discovered. Tastes and ingredients that inspire mind, body, and soul. As we know Taste is the second strongest trigger of memory and imagination (behind smell). Therefore I am not only going to describe the taste of the beverage in question, but what it makes me think of.

You will  not know the beverage in question until the end of the post, so please feel free to guess as we go along!

Pour #1

Look: The swirling chocolate noir mixes with the bright caramel colors as they barely coat the walls of the snifter. Very light in the glass, swirls exceedingly fast and now It's splashed on my new shirt!!!!

Reminds me of: A rusty bathtub after a thorough dash of CLR.
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Nose: Off the top a sour and acidic note mixed with a metallic tinge. That may be from the 12 ounce aluminum can that I am pouring it out of. And now I am getting a hint of effervescence and carbonation...which just went up my nose.

Reminds me of:  Crab fishing off Cape Cod with my uncle who smelled of lemon juice and Alka-Seltzer.
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Mouth Feel: Intense carbonation. I feel as if the enamel is being stripped off my teeth after every sip. Has a dual personality in the mouth, searing pain mixed with watery relief. Perhaps was once used as an oral numbing agent.

Reminds me of: Faking an epileptic shock on a dare by placing an antacid tablet under my tongue. But Sweeter
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Tasting Notes: Tart, sweet (not Sweet-Tarts, those are gross) yet exceedingly bright on the tongue. I can definitely pick out the High Fructose Corn Syrup. As for the "Natural Flavors", they are shrouded by ever more sweetness and again carbonation. Metallic aftertaste.

Reminds me of: gnawing excitedly on sugar drenched electric guitar strings.
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Afterthoughts: A refreshing beverage that doesn't fill you up even with the 140 calories per can. In fact I feel like I've drank nothing at all and need to workonthatmanuscriptI'vebeensecretelytyping........Whoa! Caffeine kicking in. Now I see the true potential of this unique beverage. Screw Taste, gimme more!!!!!!!

Recommendation: I feel Coca-Cola Classic Formula is perfect for sufferers of Attention Deficit Disorder, Sensitive Teeth, Diabetes, and High Blood Pressure. And upon further study, I see no ill effect to drinking it in mass quantities while engaging in quiet activities such as Funerals, Divorce Proceedings, or Lethal injections.

Enjoy Life! Gezondheid!

JvL